It’s about goddamn time!

Okay, so it’s actually just apple juice designed to look like beer, but this is still pretty funny if you watch it and imagine those kids are drinking beer. Japan is cool.

So I’m wondering if you’ve seen this yet:

To answer your question, yes, that is the entire Spanish basketball team slanting its eyes in a photo taken for an advertisement during the runup to the Olympics in Beijing. Pretty boneheaded move, to be sure, and something that’d obviously be deemed offensive. It’s like…Hey, Spanish basketball team! Make me a burrito and pick my grapes, AMIRITE?

Anyhow, some writer on Yahoo was writing about how boneheaded the whole thing was, and I was largely following until this little tidbit.

It’s baffling that nobody involved in the picture — from the photographers to the players — even seemed to consider that this ad would be looked at negatively. Did it not occur to somebody that it might not be a good idea to mock an entire continent before the world’s largest athletic competition that, by the way, happens to take place on that continent. Were they not aware of an invention called “the Internet” that allows pictures taken in Spain to be transmitted all over the world for the eyes of everyone?

Um, were you not aware that China is not like, a continent? Oh, you’re talking about Asians in general. Fine. Are you not aware that Asia is pretty fucking big and that Russia (no slanty eyes; big furry hats; drunk), Sri Lanka (no slanty eyes; MIA), and Iran (no slanty eyes; hates freedom) are part of it? I’m not asking you to crank out any complicated quantum physics calculations or anything…just that you attend like 4th grade and/or have a globe.

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This. Is. Awesome.

Gregg Zaun, catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, has a website. Please turn your sound on and visit.

My only concern is that I’m not fully certain how to bring my Z game. I’m hoping that if I read up on Zaunie’s workout regimen (which you can find on the site), it’ll come to me in a testosterone-fueled dream.

Although, working out like the dude who requested a trade and was told by his own GM that “part of making a trade is someone has to want you,” may or may not be a wise move. Just sayin’.

…because its pitchers are being ridden harder than Barbaro! Hey-ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Too soon?)

Anyhoo, 21-year-old phenom Yu Darvish threw 165 pitches in Nippon Ham’s loss to the Chiba Lotte Marines this week (just trust me that that’s what the box score would tell you). So yeah, 165 pitches. In a loss. And he only went 8 innings. And gave up 5 runs, 11 hits, and 5 walks.

So it’s not like he was working on a perfect game or something…just any old game, and they let him pull an Old Hoss Radbourn out there. Listen, Japan: If you use him up, how are we going to Dice-K-ify him when he inevitably comes over here and wins the Rookie of the Year Award in his like 11th pro season? Use your heads, dudes.

Sportswriters get pissed about stuff. Near as I can tell from watching/listening to the Jim Romes, Colin Cowherds, and Skip Baylesses of the world, that’s like, all they’re supposed to do.

But this guy is taking it to another level with straight-up vitriol, the stuff usually reserved for fan blogs where the one guy who knows the batting averages of like every dude in AA goes ballistic over the firing of the equipment manager just so he can eventually say “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

I mean, here is a professional sportswriter asking a GM, “See what happens when you surround yourself with butt-kissers? How’s that working out for you?” This is some junior-high lunchroom shit right here. Read up and enjoy. [link]

Seriously, thoughts? Everything they do makes me laugh. I just replayed this like six times and couldn’t stop laughing. I’m not sure why…

The power of film, ladies and gentlemen: [link]

Because otherwise this Rich Harden trade makes me very, very sad.

I guess it makes sense that you can’t get a #3 overall pick with a massive ceiling who’s still like 19 years old for a pitcher who’s one throw away from launching his right arm into the stands, but still.  Mr. Harden was an absolute joy to watch — when he was on the mound, which unfortunately wasn’t all that often — and he will certainly be missed in Oakland.

But realistically, if he goes down one more time, Billy Beane and the A’s would never get anything for him, and in this case they got three ML-ready players and a second-round pick from last year, which ain’t too bad. It’s not ideal but it is what it is, and you gotta figure Harden’s just not going to make a full season. He was complaining of a “dead arm” a couple starts ago, so maybe this is sell-high time.

In other news, A-Rod’s divorce has been a boon for this blog. Sorry, buddy. Hope you get to keep the house.

I mean, I still hate the Rangers, but this is cool. The chant in particular is pretty awesome.