I will now be forced to root for the Colorado Rockies in the World Series. If that isn’t the weirdest sentence ever written, I don’t know what is.
Game 7 of the ALCS was titillating for a while, and then little Dusty Pedroia straight urinated on a Rafael Betancourt fastball, making the game a little less watchable before it got flat-out disgusting in the bottom of the 8th after Pedroia’s three-run double. Read on for a man-crush update and more complaining. I hate Jon Papelbon’s face.
Man crush recap: Tulowitzki > Pedroia, by a solid margin unless Pedroia gets traded from Evil Empire Pt. II. Jacoby Ellsbury gaining fast; same trade caveats apply. Grady Sizemore still WAY out in front of Tulowitzki; A-Rod slipping slightly to Sizemore, for personal reasons. (They are non-sexual.)(Or are they?)
The Rockies, for their part, could not have been pleased about the ALCS going seven games; the last thing you want after winning 21 of 22 is a week off. Momentum = gone. But they got it, and most likely, it’s not going to matter anyway, because it seems highly unlikely that the
New York Yankees Boston Red Sox will be denied another championship.
The worst part about all of this is that we’ll have to endure at least four more games of Tim McCarver and Joe Buck fellating the
New York Yankees Boston Red Sox for three hours at a time, and we’ll have to suffer approximately 7,284 more close-ups of Jon Papelbon’s pursed lips. Devastating.
Go Rockies? Ugh. This World Series is a MISTAKE!