You people really are retarded

alexrodriguez.jpgOf all the things that make me disappointed in my fellow Americans, this might take the cake. ESPN ran a poll where nearly two-thirds of baseball fans said they would rather their favorite team didn’t sign A-Rod.

Jim Caple interjected some reason into the discussion Wednesday with this article defending A-Rod. Why it’s necessary to remind people of the most obvious of facts — A-Rod is BY FUCKING FAR the best player in the game — will forever remain a mystery. (Spoiler Alert: You people are retarded.)

From Caple’s article: “Sixty-one percent of you who responded to our Page 2 poll on Tuesday wouldn’t want baseball’s best player on your favorite team? You’d be disappointed if your team signed a (soon-to-be) three-time MVP and Gold Glove winner who can play third base or shortstop? … If that’s really true, I have another poll question for you: Do you feel this way because your drug problem is that severe, or because the American educational system is that bad? Or do you simply listen to too much sports talk radio?”

Read on for more instances of people cruelly picking on those not blessed with a fully functional brain.

To get more information on these people who can use the Interweb yet likely cannot laugh without clapping their hands, ESPN is currently running a “Why do you hate A-Rod?” poll, and there are a couple of great questions in there.

To hammer home the economic reality of Major League Baseball, they pose this totally valid question: Who would you rather have your team spend $25 million on: Alex Rodriguez or Torii Hunter and Kyle Lohse?

Sad but true, folks. You can have one or the other. Yes, Hunter plays the game with the enthusiasm of a child. Unfortunately, he also plays the game with that child’s batting eye. Lohse is probably a good guy, but is not good at throwing baseballs where people can’t hit them, which is an unfortunate shortcoming for a starting pitcher. A-Rod doesn’t seem quite so overpaid now, does he?

The other gem is the final question: “Which player would you rather have: David Eckstein or Alex Rodriguez?” No economics to consider, just a flat-out either/or. And 30% of you schmoehogs said Eckstein.

I’m too angry to even ream you for that sad display, so I’ll just point you in the direction of Fire Joe Morgan’s Ken Tremendous. His characterization of A-Rod as the man “who is better at hitting baseballs than every other person in the entire world” and Eckstein as “an adorable 11 inch-tall translucent man who cannot play baseball very well” pretty much sums it up.

Published in: on November 15, 2007 at 1:05 am  Leave a Comment  

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