Let’s annoy everyone with a post about politics

alg_debate-wave.jpgDid anyone watch the debates on Saturday? I caught the replay of the Democratic event (unless it really was live on the East Coast at like 1 a.m.) and I am going to pop some balloons up in this bitch: Obama is motherfucking boring.

I know he’s got way more to lose right now so he’s gotta play it safe and just keep saying “audacity of hope” and “bring the country together” and all that, but sometime since I last paid attention, that dude got really vanilla.

More of me acting like I know what I’m talking about–as well as one awesome quote from Bill Richardson–after the jump.

I mean, this is all relative, because all those motherfuckers are boring, but I feel like Obama used to open his mouth and I’d just be riveted to the TV. But now he feels all stiff and talking-pointy. Or maybe I’ve just got the rumored “election fatigue” they say is going around. (Not to be confused with the infinitely more awesome “gun fever.”)

The only reason I watch debates is to determine which of these robots is best at faking like they’re human. My biggest problem is that these douches very rarely answer the question they’re asked.

The debate ended with Charlie Gibson asking each candidate to think about everything they’ve said during these debates, and pinpoint one thing they’d like to take back. Hillary led off by totally avoiding it, saying something to the effect of “That’s something to think about, and I would like to point out the difference between the Republican debate and our debate: We tackle the issues here, and they don’t.”

Really? You can’t even answer the fucking question. Let’s just say your theory seems flawed.

Edwards got off the hook by quipping on the remarks he made about Hillary’s outfit; totally inconsequential, but at least it was a valid answer. And then Obama said “I would like to echo Hillary’s comments,” and then proceeded to say the same stupid shit about Democrats and Republicans, totally avoiding the question and going the extra douchey mile of piggybacking on Hillary’s non-answer. It’s like, just pretend for five minutes that you can demonstrate the human characteristic known as “humility,” and your chances of getting my vote increase by 7,000%. Obamabot failed.

Bill Richardson, of whom I have been a big fan, did not let me down, as he was the only one who answered that question as it intended to be answered. He said he was once asked to choose his favorite Supreme Court justice, and he chose the late Whizzer White because he was appointed by JFK, his political hero. But, Richardson continued, “… then I find out that “Whizzer” White was against Roe versus Wade, against civil rights. You know, so that’s — that wasn’t a good one.”

So yeah, that was pretty dumb, but he got the biggest laugh of the night, and at least he was honest enough to admit that he made a mistake. I’ll take a president who makes mistakes and fesses up over a group of folks who won’t ever claim to have made one, because then then’ll never admit that anything is wrong and nothing will ever get fixed because they’ll be too busy convincing you that everything is fine (see America, 2000-present).

I will be voting for Richardson unless Hillary is still in it when the CA primary rolls around, in which case I’ll have to vote for whoever her top competition is at the time. (I don’t know that Middle America is actually ready for a woman president, but I know for a fact they don’t want that one.) But they need to get a treadmill up in that bitch, because Richie’s chins kinda freak me out.

Published in: on January 8, 2008 at 12:42 am  Comments (9)  

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  1. I haven’t watched anything yet. But from profiles and soundbites I’d have to totally agree with you. Since Richie doesn’t get any play, my impression was actually that Joe Biden and Mike Huckabee are the only people saying anything *close* to what’s on their minds.

    One quibble, I’m not a fan of the “middle America isn’t ready for a woman president” line of reasoning. She’s either the best candidate for the job or she’s not. There have been dozens and dozens of female world leaders by now, including some backwards fucking countries. Basically I think you’re doing Kentucky’s sexism for it by vowing to vote for a male alternative to Hillary in the primary. (“The hicks would never vote for a woman, so let’s not ever give them the chance”? Might as well add “the hicks would never vote for a black,” right?)

    A much better reason not to vote for Hillary is that she’s a hideous fucking liar — like Bill, but 99% less sexy, entertaining, comical, and therefore effective. Back to your main point, my preference is for someone who is going to tell the truth and act like a nonrobot. Hillary ain’t it — name a mistake she’s fessed up to. Can’t we disqualify her from consideration on the merits, and leave gender out of it?

  2. Yeah, you’re right for calling me out on that. Making the gender distinction in this case isn’t necessary, because Hillary ain’t my fave.

    But I still think that for all the backward nations that have women leaders, a great deal of America is still threatened by the idea. I’m not thinking about this in terms of who’s the best Democrat but who can win the general election, and that’s going to take appealing to more than just Democrats. (I would like to learn more about Huckabee…he is intriguing. Amazing what the appearance of honesty can do, eh?) EDIT: I learned more. He is terrifying.

    But I think that even if she were the most qualified candidate, you’d still find an assload of people who would say, “Yeah, but she’s a chick” and vote for someone else, and you know the GOP nod will be male. That’s all I meant. I certainly hope I’m wrong, because it’s a pretty sad statement on our country. But clearly qualifications are not a prerequisite to becoming president.

  3. Too funny. I check Yahoo and this is the top story:


    “Message, not gender, turns voters off Clinton”

    Basically, they say that Clinton is slipping because she’s a douche, not because she’s a woman, but I would say that if editors are writing heds like that in the first place, something is amiss in Genderequityland.

  4. “the gang gets political”.

    is kwame jackson running?

  5. And then Hillary wins New Hampshire because New Hampshire is racist. This is just fucking great.

    My point remains: Hillary sucks, but what if she was awesome? We’re not going to nominate our best candidate if she’s a woman because OTHER PEOPLE are sexist?

    Is that solving sexism with sexism? Or are we just being pre-emptively sexist until other people STOP being sexist? … Anyway that’s it.

  6. I guess what I’m wondering is how you define “the best candidate”? If it’s electability in the general election, I think you do have to look at other people’s tendencies. I’m not sure you can label that as any sort of -ism, because it’s coming from a place of pragmatism rather than hate in this case, but it’s definitely a gray area at best. You have certainly made me feel dirty.

    I would like to add that this conversation would probably be easier to navigate if Hillary was cooler.

  7. Looks like Richardson’s out: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080110/ap_on_el_pr/richardson


    On the bright side, they’re saying that California might actually play a role in determining the outcomes of the primaries this year, which is exciting.

  8. I’m not sure if this counts as sexist or not, but I have to say I was pretty unimpressed with the whole crying thing with Hillary… If there was ever a chance that she was going to get my vote, she lost it right there. If she faked it, it was really fucking lame and cheap, but that would be preferible to the alternative which is that she was so overwhelmed with emotion that she couldn’t control herself. I don’t want our president, man or woman, to burst into tears whenever the leader of whatever god-forsaken country we’re currently at odds with gives him or her a hard time. Pretty sure that’s been a major concern that has kept a woman from becoming president so far, and I’m betting that it’s going to keep her out too.

    Plus, I think the first woman president should be at least a C cup… Is that sexist?

  9. Also Andy, I’m not sure who Kwame Jackson is, but what about Kuato from Total Recall? More sexy than Hillary, and a pretty good leader… Quaid, start the reactor!

    Right? Anybody?

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