Bring your Z-game!!!!!1!!!eleven!!!!

This. Is. Awesome.

Gregg Zaun, catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, has a website. Please turn your sound on and visit.

My only concern is that I’m not fully certain how to bring my Z game. I’m hoping that if I read up on Zaunie’s workout regimen (which you can find on the site), it’ll come to me in a testosterone-fueled dream.

Although, working out like the dude who requested a trade and was told by his own GM that “part of making a trade is someone has to want you,” may or may not be a wise move. Just sayin’.

Published in: on July 30, 2008 at 10:17 am  Leave a Comment  

Did Dusty Baker move to Japan?

…because its pitchers are being ridden harder than Barbaro! Hey-ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Too soon?)

Anyhoo, 21-year-old phenom Yu Darvish threw 165 pitches in Nippon Ham’s loss to the Chiba Lotte Marines this week (just trust me that that’s what the box score would tell you). So yeah, 165 pitches. In a loss. And he only went 8 innings. And gave up 5 runs, 11 hits, and 5 walks.

So it’s not like he was working on a perfect game or something…just any old game, and they let him pull an Old Hoss Radbourn out there. Listen, Japan: If you use him up, how are we going to Dice-K-ify him when he inevitably comes over here and wins the Rookie of the Year Award in his like 11th pro season? Use your heads, dudes.

Published in: on July 25, 2008 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  

Whoa dude…have a nap or something

Sportswriters get pissed about stuff. Near as I can tell from watching/listening to the Jim Romes, Colin Cowherds, and Skip Baylesses of the world, that’s like, all they’re supposed to do.

But this guy is taking it to another level with straight-up vitriol, the stuff usually reserved for fan blogs where the one guy who knows the batting averages of like every dude in AA goes ballistic over the firing of the equipment manager just so he can eventually say “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

I mean, here is a professional sportswriter asking a GM, “See what happens when you surround yourself with butt-kissers? How’s that working out for you?” This is some junior-high lunchroom shit right here. Read up and enjoy. [link]

Published in: on July 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm  Comments (2)  

Is “Sean Gallagher” a pseudonym for Josh Vitters?

Because otherwise this Rich Harden trade makes me very, very sad.

I guess it makes sense that you can’t get a #3 overall pick with a massive ceiling who’s still like 19 years old for a pitcher who’s one throw away from launching his right arm into the stands, but still.  Mr. Harden was an absolute joy to watch — when he was on the mound, which unfortunately wasn’t all that often — and he will certainly be missed in Oakland.

But realistically, if he goes down one more time, Billy Beane and the A’s would never get anything for him, and in this case they got three ML-ready players and a second-round pick from last year, which ain’t too bad. It’s not ideal but it is what it is, and you gotta figure Harden’s just not going to make a full season. He was complaining of a “dead arm” a couple starts ago, so maybe this is sell-high time.

In other news, A-Rod’s divorce has been a boon for this blog. Sorry, buddy. Hope you get to keep the house.

Published in: on July 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm  Comments (3)  

Don’t get me wrong…

I mean, I still hate the Rangers, but this is cool. The chant in particular is pretty awesome.

Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 8:06 am  Comments (3)  

Understatement of the Day Award

Headline from MLB Trade Rumors: Rockies May Find Podsednik, Taveras Expendable

Scott Podsednik OPS+: 85 career, 59 this season

Willy Taveras OPS+: 74 career, 44 this season

Yeah, I suppose one might consider that relatively expendable.

Published in: on June 13, 2008 at 11:28 am  Leave a Comment  

Nice work, Selig…you douchebag

Oh, Bud. You are not good at your job.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig acts like he cares about making the draft more appealing to larger audiences (I’m not going to get into the details here…but read this for some simple suggestions on how to improve a draft that hopes casual fans will be excited to watch a selection process where like 38% of the first 30 players picked will ever even don a big league uni).

So on Monday, the first business day after the conclusion of the draft, I log on to MLB.com to read up on a couple draftees (like the dude in the pic, A’s first-rounder Jemile Weeks, brother of Rickie and hopefully dude who OPSes like 2.300 in three years’ time). And where do I find a link to draft info? Pretty much nowhere.

I finally locate a hyperlink to the word “draft” in like 8-point type, buried within the text of some fantasy baseball article teaser located about 3/4 of the way down the homepage. And there’s your entry point, ladies and gentlemen. Great work, Bud. Way to give it some play. Douche.

Published in: on June 10, 2008 at 11:35 am  Leave a Comment  

Maybe he drank that kid’s goddamn apple juice…?

Since we’re still getting lots of visitors (yesterday was a new traffic record), the ODT staff feels obliged to keep posting stuff to keep everyone entertained.

Though most of you are finding this joint via searches of various permutations of “alex rodriguez” (personal favorite search: “arod jeter gay”), the search for “retarded people” is still flying high in the rankings. I’m not sure how to feel about that. But it does make me laugh.

So does this, as long as you add the appropriate amount of concern for the youth of America or whatever.

I guarantee you that kid does not appreciate this video being all over the interwebs. “Thanks Mom…”

Published in: on June 4, 2008 at 10:29 am  Comments (2)  

Derek Jeter can’t go left

While everyone’s here to look at pics of A-Rod with his shirt off, I figured I’d link to a little more evidence in favor of Jeter not being very good at baseball right here (as well as FJM’s take on the coverage here).

This, of course, is only on the defensive side; he’s clearly an asset offensively. But awarding him those Gold Gloves was comedy.

Published in: on May 28, 2008 at 8:39 am  Leave a Comment  

Traffic — the good kind (not the kind that makes you late for stuff)(although usually I’m late for other reasons and just use it as an excuse)(it’s nothing personal)

Wow. Yesterday was the busiest day this stupid little blog has ever seen, topping the day I sent this URL to my friends and asked them to check it out and many of them did so out of annoyed politeness. It would appear that the photo of A-Rod getting rubbed down is quite popular.

I would just like to take this moment to sincerely apologize for those of you who’ve visited this site hoping to find something useful/informative. (Although if you’re googling “a rod shirtless” or “retarded people” — which many of you are — you’re probably not all that disappointed.) But yeah, it’s mostly just me complaining about stuff. At least I usually spell stuff right. Bloggers are all full of shit anyway.

Published in: on May 14, 2008 at 9:45 am  Comments (4)  

Cut it the fuck out already

Please, for the love of god, when you’re referring to the sports team that you support, do not say “we.” As in “The Red Sox ahh wicked good. We lit up Mariano Rivera today.”

Unless your name is Jon Papelbon (in which case, I hate you), you are not on the team, so by the definitions set forth in the Oxford English Dictionary, you cannot refer to the team as “we,” because you are not included.

See Steinkamp’s comment re: the A’s vs. Francisco Liriano: “They own him.” That is proper. Stop being douches, 85% of all sports fans ever.

Published in: on April 29, 2008 at 5:29 pm  Comments (2)  

A-Rod > Jeter, Pt. 4,329,896

Okay, I’m tired of trying to convince retarded people that Alex Rodriguez is a much better player than Derek Jeter, but in the midst of this latest fiasco, can we admit that articles like this at least hint that Jeter is a primadonna not to be upset for fear of him melting down in hissyfits? That if he is forced to acknowledge the blatantly obvious fact that A-Rod is an insanely better player than he is that he’ll become this venomous cancer and destroy the Yanks?

They’re saying it’s bad for chemistry reasons – Passan even cites studies that show Jeter is one of the worst fielders at his position – but fuck OFF with that. Jeter should have moved to second base when A-Rod came over anyway. Should a captain worry about shit like that? I think not.

And just look at that picture. A-Rod is not afraid to let shirtless old men rub him up. Jeter is a pansy.

Published in: on April 8, 2008 at 5:08 pm  Comments (2)  

Suck it, Jeff Brantley

Saw this gem over at Fire Joe Morgan (obviously…I barely read anything else on the Interwebs these days), but figured I’d share it with you folks as well.

Basically, Jeff Brantley/95% of sports broadcasters are retarded and make up random claims whenever they feel like it. This video is a bit of sweet vindication. I’m not sure if Brantley still has that curly mullet thing going anymore, but if he does, this is some vindication for that too. How? I don’t know. Whatever. Enjoy.

Published in: on April 4, 2008 at 9:34 am  Comments (1)  

MLB testing the sexist waters

andrews.jpgSince we had fun debating sexism last time, let’s do it again.

I somehow became part of this little focus group for MLB where I answer online surveys like once a month. I do it faithfully because I love baseball and I’d like to think I help counteract the retards who are likely part of this survey group as well, the ones who provide suggestions like “John Kruk needs a reality TV show” or “MIC UP MORE PLAYERS PLZ.”

The last survey was all about MLB TV, a coming-soon, 24/7 baseball channel which I’d love to get but I’m sure will be way too expensive to justify. It covered baseball media in general, so I got to provide insight on who I think is worth listening to/reading (Jon Miller, Baseball Prospectus), and who I’d like to see doing commentary on TV (anyone but Mike Krukow).

Then it got kinda weird. Follow the jump for more; if you’re wondering, that’s ESPN’s Erin Andrews. She doesn’t do baseball. C’est la vie.

(more…)

Published in: on February 14, 2008 at 10:45 am  Comments (5)  

The Super Bowl…will be boring

brady_tom.jpgMore like the Not-so-Super Bowl, AMIRITE?!? WHAT?

So anyway, I wrote this post laying into football for boring me in general these days, and then talked about the hot girls Tom Brady has banged/is banging, and how he apparently was at my Prom in high school, and by the time I was finished, it sounded unbelievably gay, and I deleted it.

And now, all you get is this picture of Tom Brady and the ghost of what might have been. But at least I got to use the AMIRITE thing up front. That shit cracks me up.

Published in: on January 30, 2008 at 6:08 pm  Comments (10)