Beer for kids!

It’s about goddamn time!

Okay, so it’s actually just apple juice designed to look like beer, but this is still pretty funny if you watch it and imagine those kids are drinking beer. Japan is cool.

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Published in: on August 29, 2008 at 5:18 pm  Comments (1)  

From the Not-So-Fast files

So I’m wondering if you’ve seen this yet:

To answer your question, yes, that is the entire Spanish basketball team slanting its eyes in a photo taken for an advertisement during the runup to the Olympics in Beijing. Pretty boneheaded move, to be sure, and something that’d obviously be deemed offensive. It’s like…Hey, Spanish basketball team! Make me a burrito and pick my grapes, AMIRITE?

Anyhow, some writer on Yahoo was writing about how boneheaded the whole thing was, and I was largely following until this little tidbit.

(more…)

Published in: on August 12, 2008 at 5:15 pm  Comments (2)  

Bring your Z-game!!!!!1!!!eleven!!!!

This. Is. Awesome.

Gregg Zaun, catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, has a website. Please turn your sound on and visit.

My only concern is that I’m not fully certain how to bring my Z game. I’m hoping that if I read up on Zaunie’s workout regimen (which you can find on the site), it’ll come to me in a testosterone-fueled dream.

Although, working out like the dude who requested a trade and was told by his own GM that “part of making a trade is someone has to want you,” may or may not be a wise move. Just sayin’.

Published in: on July 30, 2008 at 10:17 am  Leave a Comment  

Whoa dude…have a nap or something

Sportswriters get pissed about stuff. Near as I can tell from watching/listening to the Jim Romes, Colin Cowherds, and Skip Baylesses of the world, that’s like, all they’re supposed to do.

But this guy is taking it to another level with straight-up vitriol, the stuff usually reserved for fan blogs where the one guy who knows the batting averages of like every dude in AA goes ballistic over the firing of the equipment manager just so he can eventually say “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

I mean, here is a professional sportswriter asking a GM, “See what happens when you surround yourself with butt-kissers? How’s that working out for you?” This is some junior-high lunchroom shit right here. Read up and enjoy. [link]

Published in: on July 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm  Comments (2)  

Why are pandas so goddamned funny?

Seriously, thoughts? Everything they do makes me laugh. I just replayed this like six times and couldn’t stop laughing. I’m not sure why…

Published in: on July 21, 2008 at 5:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

Understatement of the Day Award

Headline from MLB Trade Rumors: Rockies May Find Podsednik, Taveras Expendable

Scott Podsednik OPS+: 85 career, 59 this season

Willy Taveras OPS+: 74 career, 44 this season

Yeah, I suppose one might consider that relatively expendable.

Published in: on June 13, 2008 at 11:28 am  Leave a Comment  

Maybe he drank that kid’s goddamn apple juice…?

Since we’re still getting lots of visitors (yesterday was a new traffic record), the ODT staff feels obliged to keep posting stuff to keep everyone entertained.

Though most of you are finding this joint via searches of various permutations of “alex rodriguez” (personal favorite search: “arod jeter gay”), the search for “retarded people” is still flying high in the rankings. I’m not sure how to feel about that. But it does make me laugh.

So does this, as long as you add the appropriate amount of concern for the youth of America or whatever.

I guarantee you that kid does not appreciate this video being all over the interwebs. “Thanks Mom…”

Published in: on June 4, 2008 at 10:29 am  Comments (2)  

Derek Jeter can’t go left

While everyone’s here to look at pics of A-Rod with his shirt off, I figured I’d link to a little more evidence in favor of Jeter not being very good at baseball right here (as well as FJM’s take on the coverage here).

This, of course, is only on the defensive side; he’s clearly an asset offensively. But awarding him those Gold Gloves was comedy.

Published in: on May 28, 2008 at 8:39 am  Leave a Comment  

Suck it, Jeff Brantley

Saw this gem over at Fire Joe Morgan (obviously…I barely read anything else on the Interwebs these days), but figured I’d share it with you folks as well.

Basically, Jeff Brantley/95% of sports broadcasters are retarded and make up random claims whenever they feel like it. This video is a bit of sweet vindication. I’m not sure if Brantley still has that curly mullet thing going anymore, but if he does, this is some vindication for that too. How? I don’t know. Whatever. Enjoy.

Published in: on April 4, 2008 at 9:34 am  Comments (1)  

White men apparently can’t play defense either

So I don’t really give two shits about basketball (bring back White Chocolate!)(he might still be playing, but he’s not on the Kings blasting no-look passes into the stands, so whatever), but this picture is high comedy. That’s some serious defense right there.

rmccants_400_080226.jpg

Published in: on February 29, 2008 at 8:32 am  Leave a Comment  

Garfield minus Garfield

garfield-anime-wallpaper.jpgHow people make innocent things so frightening is something that never ceases to amaze me.

This has been bouncing around the internet for a minute, but I wanted to throw it up here anyway. I used to love Garfield as a kid. I’m not honestly sure why. I look at it now and the jokes are simply not revealing themselves to me. I guess a cat liking lasagna is funny or something.

But this site right here makes it funny(/sad) again. Take “a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.” Good times.

Published in: on February 27, 2008 at 7:12 pm  Leave a Comment  

Behold: The Tijuana Shitter

alcohol.jpgWhen Prose opens her bar, there will be a new drink in town. (She is not aware of this yet.)

It will be called the Tijuana Shitter.

It will consist of a pint glass filled with ice, then about 2/3 well tequila, filled the rest of the way with Coke, then a few dashes of Tabasco, then a lime quarter squeezed into it and then hastily dropped on top. No stirring.

It will be $3 all day, every day.

And people will drink.

Published in: on February 20, 2008 at 11:12 pm  Comments (3)  

Pier Pressure, motherfuckers

arrested_d.jpgOh my god oh my god oh my god.

Just read this right here and then come back and tell me how awesome that would be.

I will spoil it for you: It would be very awesome.

No big deal, though, dude. That’s just the kind of thing you hear about in Unnhh08. Par for the course.

Published in: on February 8, 2008 at 2:48 pm  Comments (2)  

Rrrrrrrrrrrrock, flag, and eeeeeeeeeagle!

Seriously, Charlie might be one of my favorite TV characters of all-time. Seriously.

Seriously.

Published in: on January 15, 2008 at 10:39 am  Comments (1)  

My roomies could use this lesson

engineering_check.jpgFrom the random news files: A Penn. man won’t face disorderly conduct charges for adding a vulgar message to the memo line of a check he used to pay a $5 parking ticket now that’s he’s apologized.

Thoughts:

1. I had no idea that could be a crime.

2. Perhaps one of my old roommates could have been brought up on charges for putting “chocolate dildo” on a rent check he wrote me.

3. Perhaps one of my current roommates could have been brought up on charges for putting “perverted sexual favors” on a rent check he wrote me.

4. Can’t believe the man involved was not PA Joe.

(The check shown above isn’t from the story, but it’s a hell of an idea. Click pic to enlarge.)

Published in: on January 13, 2008 at 7:15 pm  Comments (1)