Did Dusty Baker move to Japan?

…because its pitchers are being ridden harder than Barbaro! Hey-ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Too soon?)

Anyhoo, 21-year-old phenom Yu Darvish threw 165 pitches in Nippon Ham’s loss to the Chiba Lotte Marines this week (just trust me that that’s what the box score would tell you). So yeah, 165 pitches. In a loss. And he only went 8 innings. And gave up 5 runs, 11 hits, and 5 walks.

So it’s not like he was working on a perfect game or something…just any old game, and they let him pull an Old Hoss Radbourn out there. Listen, Japan: If you use him up, how are we going to Dice-K-ify him when he inevitably comes over here and wins the Rookie of the Year Award in his like 11th pro season? Use your heads, dudes.

Published in: on July 25, 2008 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  

Behold: The Tijuana Shitter

alcohol.jpgWhen Prose opens her bar, there will be a new drink in town. (She is not aware of this yet.)

It will be called the Tijuana Shitter.

It will consist of a pint glass filled with ice, then about 2/3 well tequila, filled the rest of the way with Coke, then a few dashes of Tabasco, then a lime quarter squeezed into it and then hastily dropped on top. No stirring.

It will be $3 all day, every day.

And people will drink.

Published in: on February 20, 2008 at 11:12 pm  Comments (3)  

I can beat up 24 five-year-olds

kids_fighting.jpgI’m guessing it’s largely because of my experience with swarms — I count mosh pits on my self-defense CV — and my willingness to pick up kids and use them as weapons against their peers, but it’s hard to say what gets you points for sure. (I was a maybe on eye-gouging.) All I know is that this is a very important piece of information to tuck under your hat.

How many kids can you take in a fight? Find out right here.

Published in: on December 26, 2007 at 1:05 pm  Comments (3)  

Worse decisions have been made

literbeer.jpgAll I’m saying is that no matter how many Dewars rocks I’ve had, you will not dare me out of having a liter of beer.

School nights be damned.

Wednesday will suck. Hard.

Thank God for the instrumental version of I’ll Sleep When You’re Dead. It might be more awesome than beer. No, seriously.

UPDATE: Wednesday sucked. Hard.

Published in: on November 28, 2007 at 1:41 am  Leave a Comment