From the Not-So-Fast files

So I’m wondering if you’ve seen this yet:

To answer your question, yes, that is the entire Spanish basketball team slanting its eyes in a photo taken for an advertisement during the runup to the Olympics in Beijing. Pretty boneheaded move, to be sure, and something that’d obviously be deemed offensive. It’s like…Hey, Spanish basketball team! Make me a burrito and pick my grapes, AMIRITE?

Anyhow, some writer on Yahoo was writing about how boneheaded the whole thing was, and I was largely following until this little tidbit.


Published in: on August 12, 2008 at 5:15 pm  Comments (2)  

Hey, Brett Favre…


Published in: on August 6, 2008 at 9:53 am  Leave a Comment  

Diddy = Puff Daddy again?

OMG OMG OMG you guys.

Diddy (formerly Sean “Puffy” Combs, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, the Wizard of Menlo Park) might be changing his name back to Puff Daddy. It’s not for sure, but it’s a possibility.

But why? There is speculation that a lawsuit is to blame. Or perhaps it’s to rekindle a new beef with Suge Knight? Or is it just time to change it up?


Published in: on June 10, 2008 at 3:05 pm  Leave a Comment  

Nice work, Selig…you douchebag

Oh, Bud. You are not good at your job.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig acts like he cares about making the draft more appealing to larger audiences (I’m not going to get into the details here…but read this for some simple suggestions on how to improve a draft that hopes casual fans will be excited to watch a selection process where like 38% of the first 30 players picked will ever even don a big league uni).

So on Monday, the first business day after the conclusion of the draft, I log on to to read up on a couple draftees (like the dude in the pic, A’s first-rounder Jemile Weeks, brother of Rickie and hopefully dude who OPSes like 2.300 in three years’ time). And where do I find a link to draft info? Pretty much nowhere.

I finally locate a hyperlink to the word “draft” in like 8-point type, buried within the text of some fantasy baseball article teaser located about 3/4 of the way down the homepage. And there’s your entry point, ladies and gentlemen. Great work, Bud. Way to give it some play. Douche.

Published in: on June 10, 2008 at 11:35 am  Leave a Comment  

Derek Jeter can’t go left

While everyone’s here to look at pics of A-Rod with his shirt off, I figured I’d link to a little more evidence in favor of Jeter not being very good at baseball right here (as well as FJM’s take on the coverage here).

This, of course, is only on the defensive side; he’s clearly an asset offensively. But awarding him those Gold Gloves was comedy.

Published in: on May 28, 2008 at 8:39 am  Leave a Comment  

Cut it the fuck out already

Please, for the love of god, when you’re referring to the sports team that you support, do not say “we.” As in “The Red Sox ahh wicked good. We lit up Mariano Rivera today.”

Unless your name is Jon Papelbon (in which case, I hate you), you are not on the team, so by the definitions set forth in the Oxford English Dictionary, you cannot refer to the team as “we,” because you are not included.

See Steinkamp’s comment re: the A’s vs. Francisco Liriano: “They own him.” That is proper. Stop being douches, 85% of all sports fans ever.

Published in: on April 29, 2008 at 5:29 pm  Comments (2)  

An open letter to Brett Favre

Fuck OFF you attention-desperate, whiny 14-year-old girl.


The Overly Dramatic Truth

Published in: on April 10, 2008 at 11:22 am  Comments (3)  

A-Rod > Jeter, Pt. 4,329,896

Okay, I’m tired of trying to convince retarded people that Alex Rodriguez is a much better player than Derek Jeter, but in the midst of this latest fiasco, can we admit that articles like this at least hint that Jeter is a primadonna not to be upset for fear of him melting down in hissyfits? That if he is forced to acknowledge the blatantly obvious fact that A-Rod is an insanely better player than he is that he’ll become this venomous cancer and destroy the Yanks?

They’re saying it’s bad for chemistry reasons – Passan even cites studies that show Jeter is one of the worst fielders at his position – but fuck OFF with that. Jeter should have moved to second base when A-Rod came over anyway. Should a captain worry about shit like that? I think not.

And just look at that picture. A-Rod is not afraid to let shirtless old men rub him up. Jeter is a pansy.

Published in: on April 8, 2008 at 5:08 pm  Comments (2)  

Suck it, Jeff Brantley

Saw this gem over at Fire Joe Morgan (obviously…I barely read anything else on the Interwebs these days), but figured I’d share it with you folks as well.

Basically, Jeff Brantley/95% of sports broadcasters are retarded and make up random claims whenever they feel like it. This video is a bit of sweet vindication. I’m not sure if Brantley still has that curly mullet thing going anymore, but if he does, this is some vindication for that too. How? I don’t know. Whatever. Enjoy.

Published in: on April 4, 2008 at 9:34 am  Comments (1)  

Yeah, UCD!

expanded_logo_black.pngUC Davis in the news! Wooooo!

I didn’t even read it yet…I just saw UC Davis and wanted to get something up here. I’m gonna assume it’s like a new tomato they created or maybe an engineer from the D (yeah, that’s right, Detroit: I just ganked your shit) is going to build the biggest LEED-certified building in the world or something, or maybe one of their winemaker graduates just shoved some award-winning cabernet up France’s collective asshole, or…

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit.

Published in: on March 6, 2008 at 11:50 am  Comments (2)  

If my cell phone had a face I would punch it in it

razr.jpgLike most rational people, I fucking hate my cell phone. My RAZR has me convinced that Motorola designers all have some sort of severe learning disability. The sad part is that I’ve gotten used to using this totally nonintuitive turd, and now it’d probably be a pain to figure out how to use a cell phone designed by someone with an IQ above 80.

But my contract is up soon and I’m thinking I’m gonna jump ship on Verizon. There are two services that seem appealing to me — CREDO and Sonopia — because they donate part of your bill to progressive charities and nonprofits. CREDO donates 1% but gives you more groups to choose from; Sonopia goes for 5% but you can only choose one recipient, and they give you ugly-ass phones smothered in pictures of birds and shit.

Here’s my question: Sonopia uses Verizon coverage, which is pretty good, but CREDO uses Sprint, which I know nothing about. Anyone have Sprint? And if so, how is it? CREDO has a few phone choices (only smartphone is a Q); Sonopia offers only RAZRs. The coverage, then, could be the dealbreaker/maker, so let me know if you have any insights.

Published in: on February 18, 2008 at 6:49 pm  Comments (10)  

The Super Bowl…will be boring

brady_tom.jpgMore like the Not-so-Super Bowl, AMIRITE?!? WHAT?

So anyway, I wrote this post laying into football for boring me in general these days, and then talked about the hot girls Tom Brady has banged/is banging, and how he apparently was at my Prom in high school, and by the time I was finished, it sounded unbelievably gay, and I deleted it.

And now, all you get is this picture of Tom Brady and the ghost of what might have been. But at least I got to use the AMIRITE thing up front. That shit cracks me up.

Published in: on January 30, 2008 at 6:08 pm  Comments (10)  

Let’s annoy everyone with a post about politics

alg_debate-wave.jpgDid anyone watch the debates on Saturday? I caught the replay of the Democratic event (unless it really was live on the East Coast at like 1 a.m.) and I am going to pop some balloons up in this bitch: Obama is motherfucking boring.

I know he’s got way more to lose right now so he’s gotta play it safe and just keep saying “audacity of hope” and “bring the country together” and all that, but sometime since I last paid attention, that dude got really vanilla.

More of me acting like I know what I’m talking about–as well as one awesome quote from Bill Richardson–after the jump.


Published in: on January 8, 2008 at 12:42 am  Comments (9)  

Why you gotta be like that, PC?

oie_sad_desktop.jpgJesus. I just looked at this blog on my work computer, which is a PC, and man, this thing looks like crap. The fonts are all skinny and style-less, and I’ve been writing line breaks to fit on my screen at home, which is a Mac, and they do not translate here.

Can you PC users even see the hyperlinks in the text? I can’t even see which text is linked and what isn’t. That not very useful.

Anyway, let me know if you’re having similar issues, because, well…I dunno. I’m not going to do anything about it anyway. I will bitch about it, though. Fucking PCs. Lame.

Published in: on December 21, 2007 at 12:35 pm  Comments (3)  

The ODT Ultra-Brief Gift Guide

earbuds.jpg What to get the music hater/masochist in your life: Apple earbuds.

My badass AKG headphones have finally met their maker, after many rounds of super glue and scotch tape, as the left speaker has ceased functioning. Devastating. So over the past couple days I’ve been reduced to using the earbuds that came with my Nano.

I can’t believe people actually use these things on purpose. They sound tinny and flat, and you have to crank your volume to get any reasonable noise out of them – I’m just short of max volume when I’m walking around. Your music doesn’t even sound like your music anymore. And they’re brutally uncomfortable. Any of you typically cram a few dimes into your ears before you leave the house? No? Right, because that would be stupid. And so are these worthless pieces of shit.

Published in: on November 30, 2007 at 12:56 pm  Comments (2)