Beer for kids!

It’s about goddamn time!

Okay, so it’s actually just apple juice designed to look like beer, but this is still pretty funny if you watch it and imagine those kids are drinking beer. Japan is cool.

Published in: on August 29, 2008 at 5:18 pm  Comments (1)  

From the Not-So-Fast files

So I’m wondering if you’ve seen this yet:

To answer your question, yes, that is the entire Spanish basketball team slanting its eyes in a photo taken for an advertisement during the runup to the Olympics in Beijing. Pretty boneheaded move, to be sure, and something that’d obviously be deemed offensive. It’s like…Hey, Spanish basketball team! Make me a burrito and pick my grapes, AMIRITE?

Anyhow, some writer on Yahoo was writing about how boneheaded the whole thing was, and I was largely following until this little tidbit.


Published in: on August 12, 2008 at 5:15 pm  Comments (2)  

Hey, Brett Favre…


Published in: on August 6, 2008 at 9:53 am  Leave a Comment  

Bring your Z-game!!!!!1!!!eleven!!!!

This. Is. Awesome.

Gregg Zaun, catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, has a website. Please turn your sound on and visit.

My only concern is that I’m not fully certain how to bring my Z game. I’m hoping that if I read up on Zaunie’s workout regimen (which you can find on the site), it’ll come to me in a testosterone-fueled dream.

Although, working out like the dude who requested a trade and was told by his own GM that “part of making a trade is someone has to want you,” may or may not be a wise move. Just sayin’.

Published in: on July 30, 2008 at 10:17 am  Leave a Comment  

Did Dusty Baker move to Japan?

…because its pitchers are being ridden harder than Barbaro! Hey-ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Too soon?)

Anyhoo, 21-year-old phenom Yu Darvish threw 165 pitches in Nippon Ham’s loss to the Chiba Lotte Marines this week (just trust me that that’s what the box score would tell you). So yeah, 165 pitches. In a loss. And he only went 8 innings. And gave up 5 runs, 11 hits, and 5 walks.

So it’s not like he was working on a perfect game or something…just any old game, and they let him pull an Old Hoss Radbourn out there. Listen, Japan: If you use him up, how are we going to Dice-K-ify him when he inevitably comes over here and wins the Rookie of the Year Award in his like 11th pro season? Use your heads, dudes.

Published in: on July 25, 2008 at 9:42 am  Leave a Comment  

Whoa dude…have a nap or something

Sportswriters get pissed about stuff. Near as I can tell from watching/listening to the Jim Romes, Colin Cowherds, and Skip Baylesses of the world, that’s like, all they’re supposed to do.

But this guy is taking it to another level with straight-up vitriol, the stuff usually reserved for fan blogs where the one guy who knows the batting averages of like every dude in AA goes ballistic over the firing of the equipment manager just so he can eventually say “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

I mean, here is a professional sportswriter asking a GM, “See what happens when you surround yourself with butt-kissers? How’s that working out for you?” This is some junior-high lunchroom shit right here. Read up and enjoy. [link]

Published in: on July 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm  Comments (2)  

Why are pandas so goddamned funny?

Seriously, thoughts? Everything they do makes me laugh. I just replayed this like six times and couldn’t stop laughing. I’m not sure why…

Published in: on July 21, 2008 at 5:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

Bad call, brutha

The power of film, ladies and gentlemen: [link]

Published in: on July 11, 2008 at 9:42 am  Comments (1)  

Is “Sean Gallagher” a pseudonym for Josh Vitters?

Because otherwise this Rich Harden trade makes me very, very sad.

I guess it makes sense that you can’t get a #3 overall pick with a massive ceiling who’s still like 19 years old for a pitcher who’s one throw away from launching his right arm into the stands, but still.  Mr. Harden was an absolute joy to watch — when he was on the mound, which unfortunately wasn’t all that often — and he will certainly be missed in Oakland.

But realistically, if he goes down one more time, Billy Beane and the A’s would never get anything for him, and in this case they got three ML-ready players and a second-round pick from last year, which ain’t too bad. It’s not ideal but it is what it is, and you gotta figure Harden’s just not going to make a full season. He was complaining of a “dead arm” a couple starts ago, so maybe this is sell-high time.

In other news, A-Rod’s divorce has been a boon for this blog. Sorry, buddy. Hope you get to keep the house.

Published in: on July 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm  Comments (3)  

Don’t get me wrong…

I mean, I still hate the Rangers, but this is cool. The chant in particular is pretty awesome.

Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 8:06 am  Comments (3)  

Understatement of the Day Award

Headline from MLB Trade Rumors: Rockies May Find Podsednik, Taveras Expendable

Scott Podsednik OPS+: 85 career, 59 this season

Willy Taveras OPS+: 74 career, 44 this season

Yeah, I suppose one might consider that relatively expendable.

Published in: on June 13, 2008 at 11:28 am  Leave a Comment  

Diddy = Puff Daddy again?

OMG OMG OMG you guys.

Diddy (formerly Sean “Puffy” Combs, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, the Wizard of Menlo Park) might be changing his name back to Puff Daddy. It’s not for sure, but it’s a possibility.

But why? There is speculation that a lawsuit is to blame. Or perhaps it’s to rekindle a new beef with Suge Knight? Or is it just time to change it up?


Published in: on June 10, 2008 at 3:05 pm  Leave a Comment  

Nice work, Selig…you douchebag

Oh, Bud. You are not good at your job.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig acts like he cares about making the draft more appealing to larger audiences (I’m not going to get into the details here…but read this for some simple suggestions on how to improve a draft that hopes casual fans will be excited to watch a selection process where like 38% of the first 30 players picked will ever even don a big league uni).

So on Monday, the first business day after the conclusion of the draft, I log on to to read up on a couple draftees (like the dude in the pic, A’s first-rounder Jemile Weeks, brother of Rickie and hopefully dude who OPSes like 2.300 in three years’ time). And where do I find a link to draft info? Pretty much nowhere.

I finally locate a hyperlink to the word “draft” in like 8-point type, buried within the text of some fantasy baseball article teaser located about 3/4 of the way down the homepage. And there’s your entry point, ladies and gentlemen. Great work, Bud. Way to give it some play. Douche.

Published in: on June 10, 2008 at 11:35 am  Leave a Comment  

Mary Anne Hobbs needs me

I mean, she doesn’t know it yet, but it’s totally true.

How long can Mary Anne go on DJing at BBC’s Radio One, heading up their Experimental show (formerly known as the way cooler-named Breezeblock), blasting all the newest and most awesome, dark, rumbling electro/dubstep/scary music once a week without me in her life?

Won’t she tire of being pretty and devastatingly cool, riding motorcycles everywhere, telling stories of her time as a punk rock chick, interviewing Joe Strummer, cruising on tour buses with alt-pop bands (back when the “alt-” actually meant something), and getting billions of amazing new records shipped to her office unless she can share the experience with me?

And what of her sexy, breathy voice? Will it not go to waste if it’s not whispering sweet nothings into my ear?

So please, my love…leave your phone number in the comments section. It’s time you came home.

Published in: on June 6, 2008 at 9:41 am  Comments (7)  

Maybe he drank that kid’s goddamn apple juice…?

Since we’re still getting lots of visitors (yesterday was a new traffic record), the ODT staff feels obliged to keep posting stuff to keep everyone entertained.

Though most of you are finding this joint via searches of various permutations of “alex rodriguez” (personal favorite search: “arod jeter gay”), the search for “retarded people” is still flying high in the rankings. I’m not sure how to feel about that. But it does make me laugh.

So does this, as long as you add the appropriate amount of concern for the youth of America or whatever.

I guarantee you that kid does not appreciate this video being all over the interwebs. “Thanks Mom…”

Published in: on June 4, 2008 at 10:29 am  Comments (2)